Meet The Losers
Guitar, Vocals
Captain Corey
Corey Rae White is a journeyman who lives life a quarter mile at a time. Few people know that the captain use to be a model for Garbage Pale Kids.
Favorite Song: Dancing Queen⠀
Favorite Music Style: Anything with a harp in it⠀
Favorite Color: John Deer Green⠀
Musical Influences: David Hasselhoff⠀
Hobbies: Framing sand
Quote: “The early bird can have the worm because worms are gross and mornings are stupid”
Vocals, Percussion
Pina Kalliah
Kalliah Jackson was born in the great Pacific Northwest and was raised on huckleberries, fry bread and noodle fishing for salmon.
Favorite Song: We Are The World⠀
Favorite Music Style: Tuvan Throat Singing⠀
Favorite Color: Clear
Musical Influences: Gene Simons
Hobbies: Buying and selling brand new used stamps⠀
Quote: “If Cinderella’s shoe fit so perfectly, then why the hell did it fall off?”
Guitar, Vocals
Little River Ben
Ben Wilinski is a true renaissance man and often over qualified for the job. Ben is banking his retirement on cashing in his vast collection of artificial wood floor samples.
Favorite Song: Never Gonna Give You Up⠀
Favorite Music Style: Kazoo Yodeling ⠀
Favorite Color: Neon⠀
Musical Influences: Taylor Swift⠀
Hobbies: Collecting lawn darts⠀
Quote: “87% of people have back pain”
Keyboards, vocals
The Professor
Jordan Hedlund is an original. Although he plays keys and sings background vocals with the Losers. He also plays drums, bass, guitar, wood block, slide whistle, and is a world renown triangle player who is praised and admired in triangle circles around the world.
Favorite Song: The Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps
Favorite Music Style: Himalayan Polka
Favorite Color: Off Dark
Musical Influences: Uncle Jesse from Full House
Hobbies: Juggling Kittens ⠀
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Quote: “Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday laying in a hospital dying of nothing”
Drums
The Anchor
Mr. Ethan Skelton apparently had a set of weights called him a sissy so he has been shown them whats up for several years now. ⠀
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Favorite Song: Man, I Feel Like A Woman⠀
Favorite Music Style: Classical Tuba⠀
Favorite Color: Shiny⠀
Musical Influences: Lindsey Lohan⠀
Hobbies: Shipping elephants⠀
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Quote: “Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday laying in a hospital dying of nothing”
Bass, Vocals
Blaquaman
Mr. Kenneth Garnier. Things you need to know bout Kenneth,
Favorite Song: Its Raining Men⠀
Favorite Music Style: Legends of Heavy Metal Banjo⠀
Favorite Color: Pink⠀
Musical Influences: Gary Busey⠀
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Hobbies: Competitive napping⠀
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Quote: “He who farts in church sits in his own pew”
